I Don't Know What To Say

I really don't know what to say on these things. I have never been one for "blogs". When I asked my friend what the purpose of these things was, she told me it was pretty much to journal. A place for me to vent and just talk as if nobody was listening. So...here I go...
As most of you who would read this know, my husband Aaron is deployed. He has been for pretty much the entirety of our marriage. We were married for 13 days before he was sent away. And he has come home for R&R which was almost 3 weeks long. 9 1/2 months it has been. And he has only been back in Iraq for a week since R&R. And I am missing him so much it is breaking my heart. 6 more months seems like an eternity. Anyone who has met my husband knows...he is the most incredible man in the world. He is sweet, kind, loving, giving, fun, understanding, funny, respectful, noble, honorable and just overall perfect. He is the type of guy who would drop anything to help someone out. He is the type of guy who will just listen when something is bothering you. He is the type of man that I never thought that I would deserve (I still don't). He is like, a knight in shining armor, straight out of a dream. Heck, if I could dream up my perfect husband, he wouldn't even come close to how great Aaron is.
Which is exactly why it is so hard with him gone. I miss him so much. And the bad thing is (or at least one of them), I never feel like I tell him I love him enough. Sure I say it every chance I get. I even I.M. or email him just to say it. It just never feels like it is enough. And that is where my fears really get me. How about if something happens to one of us and he never knows how much I love him? He has just done so much for me. I never knew what true love was til he came into my life. He has shown me what it really means to be happy and loved. He never judged me because of my past. He never condemned me for my mistakes. He has only loved me and cherished me. Even before he realized he loved me, he loved me.
When he met me, I was so hurt and untrusting. The men in my past had made sure to scar me to the point that I never really wanted to give my heart to anyone. Then, I met Aaron. From the moment I first talked to him...I couldn't help but trust him. From the moment he first took my hand and led me on a dance floor...I couldn't help but love him. Just when I thought that all hope was lost. He came into my life and showed me what life was all about.
To this day, when he calls....when he first says "Hey Baby"...my heart still stops for a moment. And I am reminded once again how lucky I am to have him. He has made my life so full, I can't wait to see how much better it gets. I can't wait to show him and tell him how much I love him every single day for the rest of our lives.
Right now it is hard. Not knowing when or if I will ever see or hear from him again. I just have to have faith that God would not bring him into my life only to take him away. I look forward to the next time that I get to fall asleep to his snoring, bring him breakfast in bed, even going to the store with him knowing that I will have to beg him not to go to the electronics department...lol.
And reguardless of how long I will have to wait for him to come home, he is so worth the wait. I will keep my home fires burning and arms wide open to welcome him home.